Yesterday I found out that a boy who went to my Elementary, Middle, and High schools died. A boy I had a crush on in the 4th grade. Who stood next to me as we paraded down the hallway in our Halloween costumes. A boy that I didn’t know well but had always been there somewhere. And now isn’t.

He was my age. Eighteen. An age full of wonder and opportunity. An age that is endless. College or other life opportunities are coming our way and he won’t have the chance to take them up in his arms and accept them. He will be missed by many. Even some who had yet to meet him. With so much of a life that was left empty in front of him; he could have met the girl of his dreams and found an amazing job. Maybe he would have traveled the world. Found himself. Now he cannot.

I feel sorry for his family and all of his close friends. I am going through so much pain and I didn’t even know him well. Just knowing that life is so uncertain makes my heart ache. I can’t believe that his life has been cut so short and that all the opportunities I will have come my way will not come his.

Life is a beautiful thing and I wish he could have seen that for more years to come. His face lit up many people’s lives and I will never forget it. I will never forget when he had frosted tips and was the coolest kid in class. I will never forget watching him and the rest of the football team kick ass at the homecoming games I never failed to miss. I will never forget working with him on group projects. I will never forget the day I found out he had left us. His life was short but full. He had many people who loved him and many people who knew him for being a kind person. He never seemed to hate and he always seemed to have people around him who cared. His life was beautiful and all too short.

Not every day is guaranteed and the most important thing we can learn from this is to talk to people when we are scared and to live your life in a way that will not make you regret it if you are taken from this earth too soon. I hope that whatever the after life is, it treats this soul kindly. I hope he gets a second chance at life or that he gets to lie in peace knowing what he did through life was right. I hope no more suffering comes to him. I hope that one day, no matter how far from now, his family will accept what happened and can also find peace in his passing.

I came across a website dedicated to changing the stereotypes in the word “feminism” and it really intrigued me (see http://www.whoneedsfeminism.com/index.html). I grew up in this society that says that if you’re feminist then you must be a lesbian and an ass to all men. In reality, I am a feminist. I don’t usually come right out and say it because then people assume I am a lesbian, despite the fact that I am in a committed relationship with a male and have been for nearly 3 years. Same goes for my support in gay rights. I think that gays should have every right I do and that means that I “must be one of them”. I’m as straight as an arrow, I just think that we all should have the same rights.

I want to be a mom, but I also want to have a strong career in journalism. I want to get married, but I want to feel comfortable with my choice of leaving if he abuses me. My boyfriend’s mom has been with an ass for 20 years and he has verbally abused her through almost every moment. She says she is going to leave but then he convinces her that he’ll change so she gives in. I want to live in a world that we are all educated to know that once an abuser, always an abuser. 

Yes, I love fashion and I like to feel pretty. But that’s not because I’m trying to find a husband, it’s because it’s fun to experiment and it’s a way to show yourself. I’m not fitting into the female role, I’m fitting into my own role: which is to look cute and kick some serious ass doing it.

Prom is coming up and several schools in the area have started to lay down punishment for grinding at school dances. I think the habit these girls have gotten into of dancing this way is disgusting, but they seem to think that it’s not in any way demeaning them. Letting strange men push their junk against your ass is something that I think is horrible. We say we want people to stop blaming women for rapes, but you walk into a school dance and it already looks like the majority of these people are having sex. I think this is a form of leading men on, yes no means no so it is not completely the woman’s fault, men need to know the lines they cannot cross, but women need to make it a little harder for men to touch us in such a sexual way. 

You may frown at that last paragraph, but let’s face it, when a rapist can so easily get that close (and to me, intimate) to you then he will feel that you are an easier target. I step away the second a man comes up behind me who did not ask my permission (and received it) first. 

The society we live in needs to teach that feminism is simply letting women have the power to speak out, to earn the same amount of money, and to not be treated as sex objects. As a friend of mine says “You are a strong independent woman who does not need a man to complete you; but you have one anyway.”

A girl can still wear a skirt in the winter

This was before spring, I just took forever to load it up.
Sweater: Cotton on, $18.00
Skirt: Forever 21, $17.50
Leggings: (fleece lined by the way) Walgreens, $14.00
Boots: Plato’s Closet, $14.00

Cute outfit for a fall or winter day

Top: Delia’s, clearance, $14.00
Pants: Delia’s, $44.50 (these were a gift plus another pair 50% off)
Belt: $2.00
Boots: Plato’s Closet, $14.00
Legwarmers: ARC Thrift Store, $1.00

            I had a good long talk with a close friend of mine today. We both have been busy with jobs, internships, and school and we haven’t sat down and had a good heart-to-heart in a long time. She has been one of my best friends since fourth grade and we both have changed so much since then and I realized that today but we are still so similar that we can talk like we never stopped talking.

            Every girl needs a friend like that. But sometimes even these friends don’t see eye-to-eye. I’m a senior in high school and this means that yes, most of our innocence have been lost. It’s the way high school works. You’re almost expected to loose your virginity before you leave; if you don’t then you’re a prude. I made it a point to make it someone I truly loved and knew damn well I loved. We waited about 10 months, a long time compared to most, correction, all of my friends. I see them fall hard and fast and then get dumped right after the guy gets sex. And I’ve even seen this happen to some of my close guy friends. I just learned my close friend has trusted a boy she’s been dating for 5 months with her body.

            What I want to know is how long do you think it’s okay to wait? Marriage, a month, a year, a few dates? I had always told myself I wanted to know that if he got me pregnant he wouldn’t leave me and I am sure of that with my current boyfriend. I just feel like there is no way to know that it wont be a hump and dump unless they are willing to go a long time with you without sex. I worry that my friends will be heart-broken, which most of them have been at this point. I have a friend who trusted a guy and the day after she lost her virginity to him he dumped her. They had been dating a month. My boyfriend and I waited 10 months and have been together for almost two years since then. I have not seen a single relationship last this long with people who didn’t wait.

            If anyone is reading this blog I want to hear your experiences. If you see the same things I do or if you think I’m being crazy thinking that you should wait as long as I’m saying you should. I know some people thought I was crazy going as long as I did but I wanted to make sure I wasn’t doing something that intimate with someone who wasn’t going to love me for a good long time. I know my friend loves this guy and I support her no matter what, but I worry she is going to get hurt. She’s like a sister to me and it hurts me to see a sister go through that much pain.

            I just want to know what you all think, if there’s anyone out on this massive Internet that has seen my blog, tell me. Am I wrong, can this work for my friend, or will she be like the rest and end up crying on my shoulder?

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Photo cred: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/how-leaping-into-bed-harms-relationships-8100740.html

Today is an important day in the history of women. To be totally honest I hadn’t even realized that all this time women had never seen combat. What, are we too fragile? 

I’m not your “classic” feminist where I hate all men and think women should have all the power. None the less, I’m a women who is proud to see us moving forward every day. I hate war so it pains me to think that this was ever needed-man or women-but it is still important that women can make this step. 

Men are babies sometimes, and women have been fighting through sickness and harm to care for these men and their children, why can’t they fight for our country? Now they can. It’s an important step. Now women can gain more power in the military. They can lead, and that may mean that they can begin to lead in other ways. We may see a women president elected next time around; not just run, but be elected. Who knows where this will lead? 

Maybe this isn’t as big a jump for us women as gaining the right to vote was, but it is a huge step for any women in the military and I congratulate every one of them that has gained something they may have thought was never going to happen to them.Image

Photo found here: http://www.bizpacreview.com/2013/01/24/panetta-lifts-ban-clears-women-for-combat-16522 

I want to be a journalist. What better way to get prepared for that than start a blog?

I wanted to start something new to bring in 2013 and a blog is what I chose. I am a senior in high school with plans to go to a state college next year and start a career in journalism. I have a small job at my church caring for kids once a week. A whopping $150 a month. Sure, I don’t need to pay rent or for food, but I will soon. And at the moment I’m a fashionista who has to buy cloths on a budget.

I love to DIY often, and that’s what my pinterest account is for, finding ways to make beauty products or revamp old clothes. This is where I’ll share that. If something really fails you’ll know and if something works, I’ll spread word. I’m also hoping to write about issues in the world, since this is what I really want to write about when I make it in the adult world. But, I’ll also share outfits that are hits and how to find the same or similar outfits. I’m all about politics, world issues, fashion, and fun. I’m a mix of everything. Nerd, girly girl, Wallflower, and sometimes life of the party.

This blog will be a mish-mash of so much, but that’s what’s going to make it fun, and me.

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